@monstergirlmary describes themselves as a “witch living their queer gamer dreams.” The BroadcastHER Grant recipient has been playing games on and off for a long time — and still enjoys revisiting old favorites while “drooling” over pretty, new releases.

What is your dream as a digital broadcaster?

I want to do the things I love and share my joy with others. My dream is to grow as both a streamer and a person. There was a time in my life where I really lost who I was and only recently have I had the pleasure to rediscover myself. There is no stopping now, and I’m so glad digital broadcasting is a part of that.

How will your award from the 1,000 Dreams Fund help you reach your goals?

This grant is beyond valuable. Not only will the funds help me get equipment to improve my streaming capabilities, but the grant also provides a means for purchasing much-needed software. Plus, the community and connections are invaluable, too.

What does being a recipient mean to you?

Being a recipient really helps validate my dreams. I have to fight a lot of insecurities involving worthiness. So, to be recognized is incredible.

Women are underrepresented in gaming, broadcasting, and e-sports. What can we do to change this?

As we have recently seen with Activision/Blizzard, it is more than that. We need to demand our space and our safety. We need to speak up for everyone who is underrepresented and stand up for our most vulnerable.

What are some of the challenges you have faced along the way?

Most of my challenges have been internal, but even still I have been harassed and called slurs in the middle of stream. I’ve had people come in to chat and insult POCs, thinking it was funny. I’ve seen friends who have been sent disgusting images. It is hard, but I am more than willing to fight for a kinder world.

What advice do you have for women who want to start broadcasting?

Don’t let people steal your kindness. It doesn’t matter what you play or what equipment you use. Be yourself, unapologetically.

How do you stay motivated and focused on your goals?

I try to journal often. I feel it is important to celebrate every success and reflect on what you want regularly. It is easy to get caught up in things, so I often need to ground myself.